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funny poemsRead our following latest collection of funny poems. Now you can use these funny poems for greetings cards text messages or send funny poems to your friend.My sweet heart & I are just wed. Already I wish I were dead. 2 weeks she's been spending. It was time never ending. We are thousands of pounds in the red! ***************** it's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye it's funny how good memories can start to make you cry it's funny how forever never seems to last it's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past it's funny how “friends” can just leave when you are down it's funny how when you need someone they never are around it's funny how people change and think they're so much better it's funny how many lies are packed into one “love letter” it's funny how one night can contain so much regret it's funny how you can forgive but not forget it's funny how ironic life turns out to be but the funniest part of all, is none of thats funny to me ***************** Attention all students! Attention all kids! Hold onto your horses! Hold onto your lids! We have just exactly the thing that you need whenever you’ve way too much homework to read. The Marvelous Homework and Housework Machine will always make sure that your bedroom is clean. It loves to write book reports ten pages long, then put all your toys away where they belong. This thing is amazing—I’m sure you’ll agree. It feeds you dessert while you’re watching TV. There’s only one thing this device will not do: It won’t eat your Brussels sprouts—they’re, like, PU! ***************** y iz birthday cake so good I luv it oh so much It’s good to eat - but even more I think it’s nice to touch It’s squashy pink and sticky white And stuffed with special goo With candy roses on the top One time my piece had 2 ***************** It’s ur birthday, so don’t feel down Don’t think bad stuff & frown Your life should be filled with mirth Just look what you’ve done since your birth You started out really small Now you’re really filled out and tall ***************** I fell in luv with this girl Our first kiss was in the past She thought it was so funny When she made me kiss her ass ***************** When I met u, just standing there winds from all directions in ur slick black hair Surrounding ur face, blowing in the air I couldn’t help but 2 just stand and stare you stood there alone, no expression on ur face Its like u were seperated from the human race You dint move you just stood in place If u were a card youd be a lonely ace ***************** As soon as Fred gets out of bed His underwear goes on his head. His mother laughs “Don’t put it there, A head’s no place for underwear!” But near his ears, above his brains, Is where Fred’s underwear remains. At night when Fred goes back to bed, He deftly plucks it off his head His mother switches off the light And softly croons,”Good night! Good night!” And then, for reasons no one knows Fred’s underwear goes on his toes. ***************** Can a Mime Make a rhyme? Sure a Mime Can make a rhyme. But who would Hear it? ***************** Bleak trees appeal to an empty sky As the city is haunted by winter. Skulking strangers crunch their arctic tracks Across the treachery of the street. With frozen grins they threaten to speak But then bow beneath the icy lash And fumble for the amber womb of home. ***************** I know how it is to need money-- As much as I can get; My teenager goes to the mall, And I go into debt. Most kids' first words are "Ma-ma," She said "Vi-sa" with a smile; She has a black belt in shopping, And a package from every aisle! ***************** While I went off to work one day, She decided to paint the wall. And when I came back home that night, She was curled into a ball. Her eyes were closed, she was breathing hard, Her hair was very wet. From her head to the tips of her pretty toes, She was covered all in sweat. She was wrapped in a jacket made of down, With a fur coat on top of that. The wall was glowing with new, fresh pai nt; On the floor, the paint can sat. "Sweetheart!" I cried, with a worried look, "Are you all right, my dear?" She lazily opened her lovely eyes, And smiled from ear to ear. "I knew I could do it," she said with a grin; "I followed the paint can notes. It clearly said 'For best results, Be sure to put on two coats.'" funny valentine poems short funny poems twisted funny poems funny christmas poems short funny love poems really funny poems funny thanksgiving poems funny rude poems funny simile poems funny friendship poems funny anniversary poems funny wedding poems funny dirty love poems funny get well poems funny stupid poems poems funny jokes We are continuously adding new sJust read the new funny poems and send it to your friends. We are sure that you will like funny poems. If you want to submit funny poems then you can send mail to us. |
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